What’s Really Holding You Back?
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Question 1 of 11
1) When someone gets emotionally close to you, what tends to happen inside?
A) I pull back, need space, or start focusing on what feels wrong.
B) I wonder if they still want me and look for signs of distance.
C) I try to become easy to love so they do not leave.
D) I become very aware of my body and whether I am desirable enough.
Question 2 of 11
2) What is your most common body image spiral?
A) I disconnect from my body and avoid thinking about it.
B) I worry my body will make someone lose interest.
C) I compare myself to what I think others want me to be.
D) I criticise, monitor, or try to fix my body.
Question 3 of 11
3) In intimate relationships, what feels hardest to ask for?
A) Closeness without feeling trapped.
B) Reassurance without feeling needy.
C) My real needs without feeling selfish.
D) Being desired as I am without changing myself first.
Question 4 of 11
4) When you feel rejected or unwanted, what is your usual response?
A) I act like I do not care and shut the door emotionally.
B) I replay everything and try to figure out what changed.
C) I blame myself and try harder to be lovable.
D) I focus on what is wrong with my appearance.
Question 5 of 11
5) What do you tend to believe love requires from you?
A) Staying independent and not needing too much.
B) Staying alert so I do not miss signs of disconnection.
C) Staying pleasing, agreeable, and low-maintenance.
D) Staying attractive, controlled, or put together.
Question 6 of 11
6) How do you respond when someone compliments your body?
A) I feel exposed and may deflect or change the subject.
B) I like it, but I still wonder if they really mean it.
C) I accept it if I think it makes them happy, even if I do not feel it.
D) I mentally argue with it or point out what is wrong.
Question 7 of 11
7) What pattern shows up most often around desire and intimacy?
A) I can want closeness, then suddenly feel the urge to create distance.
B) I need signs that I am wanted before I can relax.
C) I focus more on their comfort than my own pleasure.
D) I struggle to feel present because I am thinking about how I look.
Question 8 of 11
8) When you imagine being fully seen by someone, what feels most vulnerable?
A) Letting them see that I have needs.
B) Not knowing whether they will stay consistent.
C) Letting them know what I actually want.
D) Letting them see me without hiding or performing.
Question 9 of 11
9) What do you usually do when you feel insecure?
A) Withdraw, get busy, or convince myself I am better off alone.
B) Seek reassurance, check their tone, or look for proof of care.
C) Adapt, overgive, or become more accommodating.
D) Try to improve, restrict, cover up, or control my appearance.
Question 10 of 11
10) Which statement feels most true right now?
A) I want love, but closeness can make me feel unsafe or overwhelmed.
B) I want to feel chosen without constantly needing proof.
C) I want to stop losing myself to keep connection.
D) I want to stop treating my body like the reason love feels hard.
Question 11 of 11
11) Which letter did you choose most often?
Mostly A: The Protector
Mostly B: The Seeker
Mostly C: The Shapeshifter
Mostly D: The Perfectionist